Insecurities within the realm of relationships are the cause of many potentially good relationships going sour. Someone tweeted this week that women need to stop confusing their personal insecurities with infamous "woman's intuition". I do agree. There is a fine line between the two and you can only truly differentiate between them when you truly know yourself.
I'm not really here to write on the actual topic of insecurities in relationships but I just had some things on my mind regarding the topic. And on that note -- yes, many people come into relationships with baggage from their past which translate into debilitating insecurities that subsequently affect their current relationship's progression. But that does not mean that every suspicion or "gut feeling" is an insecurity. If your significant other is bothered by something and they express that concern to you, I think it would be wise to first evaluate yourself before you conclude in your mind that they are simply projecting their personal insecurities onto your relationship. It's simply human nature to attempt to deflect responsibility off of your own shoulders and onto someone else's. It's an easy thing to do. But still...don't be that girl or that guy.
A relationship has two parties involved. Both parties should be considered. If you can't respect that then you shouldn't be there. Simply put. There is a big difference in your significant other exhibiting a personal insecurity in your relationship and them actually having every reason to hold a suspicion about something. If they are drawing conclusions and making assumptions with nothing to back it up or trivial/insignficant things to back it up....it's probably a personal insecurity...something they need to work out. But if you're giving them every reason in the world to suspect something and they express that concern -- don't be blind and inconsiderate & accuse them of just being insecure.
♥ Need an example? Your boyfriend calls you while you are in class, you don't answer. You come home from class with every intention of calling him back -- but whoops...you fall asleep. You get in contact with him later & he accuses you sneaking around. Since you didn't answer his phone call & failed to call him back as soon as he would have liked, then you MUST be sneaking around with another guy right? Right!? -__- No. Personal insecurity. Red flag.
Ok, but say ...same scenario. But instead, you don't fall asleep after class -- you decide to go to lunch with your ex-boyfriend, who you say is just a good friend of yours. (Oh and you make sure that you write about it on your Facebook status for the world to see. Maybe even write a couple of happy-go-lucky tweets about it/him). You don't call your boyfriend back or even think to shoot him a text during this time. As your boyfriend is driving home from class, he spots you and your ex-boo drive past him. Alright now. You clearly may NOT have been up to anything. But if your boyfriend was to come to you express his concern with THAT situation ...would you really say HE was just being insecure? I mean you could, if you're the inconsiderate type. That's fine. (Sarcasm). But seriously though, don't be silly. You may know the truth but clearly he does not. That's not an insecurity...you gave him a REASON to be slightly suspicious.
Don't give a reason for your significant other to be suspicious and they won't be. Be considerate of other people's feelings. If you're not the considerate type, you feel like you can do no wrong, if you're not mature enough to view situations from someone else's perspective -- then why are you in a relationship to begin with? Don't be so quick to cast blame when you can't even get YOURSELF together when need be. There are two people involved which means that there are two perspectives involved. Don't be so blind to think that yours is the only one that matters.
And another thing, just because you do not see something as an issue does not mean that issue is not real for the person that you claim to care about. Fix it. If you truly care about someone and how they feel then act like it. Don't play further into the issue simply because YOU don't see it as a problem. That is basically saying to them "I hear what you're saying. I see that this bothers you. But, I'll do what I want because quite frankly, this does not concern me. Get over it because I don't care."
Just a thought on this Sunday afternoon.