20100205

poem.

This is a poem that I wrote over the summer, not sure why I never posted it on here.

Disclaimer: fictional poem

When I posted it on Facebook everyone was texting me to "tell them what was going on" and blah blah blah. Lol, it's fictional people. Enjoy :)

but still my lips refused to speak

“Look, we’ve got to talk,
There’s things I must get off my chest.”
My nervous feet paced ‘cross the room,
Uneasy hands played with my dress.
“And I may not make sense to you,
But I swear it’s coming from the heart.”
I stared at him in silence,
Trying to find a place to start.

I sighed…
“First, let me just say,
That yes, I do know who I am.
I’m confident that I’m a queen,
But convinced -- you no longer give a d***.
Seems like you quit building me up,
And committed to destroying my self-esteem.
And what we once called our reality,
Now’s an unrealistic dream.

Who would have imagined that things would change,
And Mr. Brand New would be revealed?
I don’t think I would have signed up this,
If I knew the REAL YOU came with the deal.
And still -- after all this time,
You refuse to step up and be a man.
How can you take the one you “love” for granted,
And have the audacity to call yourself her man?

How dare you call yourself my man,
When I can’t even call you a true friend.
Feeling low -- in need -- on my roughest days,
I can’t even depend on you to take my hand.
You rudely “speak your mind”,
With no concern of how I feel.
But nah, then you just call me sensitive,
Claiming I’m just not used to someone “real”.

How dare you call yourself my man,
Yet disrespect my body and my mind.
Can’t open up ‘bout how you feel,
But quick to let me know that I look good from behind.
Your annoying lack of trust,
I thought my love could conquer over time,
Yet no matter how much I prove I’m different,
You can’t leave your past baggage behind.

How dare you call yourself my man,
When we no longer laugh -- just fuss and scream?
And this, on and off – this, up and down –
Has become our reoccurring theme?
And you’re now so ridiculously selfish,
If it’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM, you don’t even try to understand.
And you no longer give me affection,
Yet all of mine you dare command?

I’m so tired of smiling for you,
When all I want to do is cry,
And so sick of staying loyal,
When my heart’s begging me to say goodbye.
But I take my responsibility for this,
‘Cause nothing happened that I ain’t let.
I just got too caught up in trying to revive this,
While never letting you see me sweat.

Baby, I’ve put up with way too much,
And through these months you know I’ve tried,
But sadly, there always comes that point,
When every good thing must divide.
I fell into that trap, thought I could change you,
That was wrong, I do admit.
But I’ll be praying that before you meet the next one,
You’ll somehow learn to show respect.”

Finally, I stopped my nervous pacing,
And I looked up from my rant.
The eyes I saw glaring at me,
Were not the ones that I’d expect.
I was staring at myself inside that mirror,
Finally ready to say all this to you.
Then I was startled by the doorbell --
Wow, you were early, this was new.

I took a slow, deep breath,
I’d been waiting on this moment for a while.
I opened the door slowly,
To be greeted with your sexy dimpled smile.
With my favorite candy in your hands,
You planted a big kiss on my cheek.
My heart was screaming “Tell him!”,
BUT STILL MY LIPS REFUSED TO SPEAK.

Instead, I hugged you and I smiled,
Pretending to be in great delight…
Why ruin a seldom “perfect moment”,
And just end up in a fight?
Ok, I know, I know --
I’d been rehearsing this all night.
But every time I want to call it off,
That’s when start playing your cards right.

I’m hurting and I’m not happy,
And still have no courage to break up with you tonight.
Cause for once it was all good,
So I mean... I guess that it can wait til later…
........RIGHT? :-\

Now Playing:
Drake ft. Omarion - Bria's Interlude
I say:

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