"blatant ignorance"

Ok, so everyday I pretty much get consumed in reading news articles online. [My homepage in AOL -- so you know they always have these catchy headlines that just MAKE you have to read more, lol] Well today, I get on and see a headline saying:

pEEK INTO OSTEEN'S $70 MILLION CHURCH 'Christian-Lite' Service Has 43,000 Followers: Inside 10 Megachurches.

Okay, so I was kind of hesistant to read it because I felt like I was just going to end up being mad at the ignorance found in the article since so many people have big problems with megachurches and usually give them a bad rap -- well....I was wrong. The article was pretty good at giving a good overview of what all goes on in the church and how the money is spent, even acknowledging how Joel Osteen gave away in $200, 000 salary from his booksales to go to missions, etc. But uh, scroll down a little farther and start reading the random comments on the article --- and YEAH, there's that ignorance I was trying to avoid. I'm not sure why people have such big hang-ups with megachurches --- or even churches in general. All the comments on it are saying things like this:

"These people are so misguided that they think they have to give all their money to this man in order to buy the afterlife"

OR

"A true man of God does not use the people of the Lord to gain so much money for their own expense. Where is all of this money going? Right into his pocket."

OR

"If they are so morally superior, then why isn't this money being spent on ending world hunger and homelessness? Oohhh, that's right. You have to cough up 10% of your income in order to receive their help. How convenient for them that god only decised to unleash his magical powers (on you)..... "

:-|

Lol, not the magical powers. "I'm real mad at that" lol.......

But yeah, the ignorance gets worse and worse as you read on. Eventually, I just had to stop reading them. First of all, I'm thinking like this -- if I have such a dislike for something then why would I entertain it? Like really, if you have a problem with megachurches or churches in general, then why are you taking the time to read articles about them and commenting on it? You obviously don't attend one which means what they do have no concern or affect on your life, so just let people live their lives and you live your own. Secondly, and most importantly --- CAN YOU NOT READ? The article talks of how humble he is and how the money is spent. Churches do not pay taxes, but they can still be audited, trust me -- the IRS is on top of it, if a pastor is robbing his members they will be exposed. I then stumbled across this comment and if it was on facebook it definitely would have gotten that 'like' :

''I'm not a big Osteen fan, but I wish when people would comment on an issue they would do it prom a position of knowledge instead to blatant ignorance. The millions of dollars a church like this takes in goes to support such causes as feeding the poor and homeless, paying ministerial assistants to council people who have marital problems, drug problems etc. They also support the poor and under-priviledged in other countries. Churches like this have tremendoes children and youth programs to keep kids off the street etc. Yea, Osteen probably makes a very good dollar. But he has tremendous responsibilities as well. So while everyone is entitled to express their opinion at least know the facts before you reveal your assinine ignorance... Thanx!''

...No, thank YOU 'jjkibelbek' (that's the person's screenname -- don't ask lol) because I couldn't have said it better. Personally, I am not a fan on Joel Osteen either -- he is waaaay too happy and smiley-facey for my liking but that's fine because he has thousands of members who think otherwise. Plus, I do think the size of his church in pretty much ridiculous -- like I PERSONALLY would never want to go to a church that big because it takes the intimacy out of it. However, like I've already stated -- that's me and my opinion....I don't have to attend, so oh well. But the thing is, churches take in so much money and people like to comment about how they have such a problem with it and yet they want to leave out what the church IS doing with that money they recieve. Just taking a look at my own church, which I guess by standards IS a megachurch [more than 2000 members] ......I see exactly what they do with "all that money" that they take in. My pastors by cars for single mother's who are in need, they rebuild and remodel homes for the needy, on the days before Thanksgiving, my pastor stood in a grocery store in a poor part of DC and paid for EVERYONES groceries that came thru the lines, they gave out free gas at a gas station one day, they gave out free gas cards in church when the economy started getting ruff, they give away $100, 000 in scholarships each year to the youth, they are sending 20 men to Haiti in the upcoming weeks to build an orphanage. My own pastors have been audited twice and each time the investigation was over, the government owed THEM money. I can go on and on, if you're going to have an opinion about stuff at least make sure you know what you're talking about at least. But ok, enough of this. Goodnight :-)

Oh, and people give money to these preachers in hopes of buying an afterlife? BAHAHAHA. Lol, that's probably the most ignorant statement I've ever heard in my life. Statements like those don't even need addressing. Read your Bible people, k thanks.

Link to article if you'd like to read it: http://www.walletpop.com/article/_a/bbdp/americas-biggest-megachurches/548602?icid=mainhp-laptopdl2link3http%3A%2F%2Fwww.walletpop.com%2Farticle%2F_a%2Fbbdp%2Famericas-biggest-megachurches%2F548602

R.I.P. "King of Pop"

I was on the metro with Imani when we got the news about Michael Jackson passing away yesterday. At first, we thought it was a joke [we'd heard from a very unreliable source through a text message lol]. Plus, I don't know what it is with people loving to spread rumors about people dying -- Jaleel White [Urkel] and Kel Mitchell [from Kenan & Kel] have had stupid rumors about them being dead spread around a couple years back. But sure enough, it was confirmed. The King of Pop has passed away at age 50 after suffering from cardiac arrest [which IS different from a heart attack]. Shocking news. Almost seemed unrealistic. What!? It's Michael Jackson, he can't die, lol. One thing for sure, is that although he is gone -- he definitely will not be forgotten. He's touched many lives and has influenced music more than people give him credit for. To all the haters focusing on his downfalls and failing to acknowledge his great accomplishments -- get a life. My prayers are gone out to his friends and his family members.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson [August 25, 1958 - June 25, 2008]



P.S. definitely been neglecting this blog, oops. I'll get back on it soon!

r e s p e c t , find out what it means to me lol

I haven't really had anything pertinent on my mind lately, so I haven't had much to write about. Pastor preached on integrity on Sunday and I thought it was a good lesson -- told myself I was going to write about it but then didn't feel like it, lol.

However, I've been making some changes and making some decisions on my behalf, because as I have stated before...I've dedicated this summer to me, I'm working and focusing on me for a change. It's needed. But back to what I was getting at, I've been thinking about the things young women need to possess: character, self-confidence, integrity, etc ... but I honestly think the most important quality to possess is self-respect. Think about it, if we really respected ourselves [in all areas. respecting for our minds, our bodies, etc], held ourselves to high standards and realized what we deserved, we would not tolerate a lot of the things that we do and for sure wouldn't get mixed up in a lot of the things that we find ourselves mixed up in. We've got to learn to respect ourselves above everything else because if we don't respect ourselves, how are we going to expect other people -- and esp men, to respect us as well? Doesn't make sense. And we can go around all day long boasting that we don't care what other people think about us and "I'm just doing me -- hate it or love it." But uh, I truly believe we need to slow that down. Yeah, do you of course...do you and be confident in what you do. Of course, don't let other's opinions slow you down or upset you -- but quite frankly I think we should care if people don't respect us. "You don't gotta like me, but you will respect me" ... I think it's very important. Without respect, I'm not sure we can get very far in life. If no one respects you, your word, your opinions, your work...hmmmm then what validity do you really have?

Thoughts of the day.
Time to eat :)

sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare?

From as far back as I can remember, I have always been able to recall my dreams regularly -- then I might go a week or two where I don't remember my dreams, but for the most part I always remember them. I had a period when all my dreams had something to do with water [watching my friends drown and trying to save them, saving people off of a ship thats sinking and rowing them to shore, going swimming but the surface was like glass and couldn't get thru] ... always have weird dreams. some are serious like the ones i just mentioned, but most of the time they are extremely ridiculous and if they did have meaning, I can't imagine how, lol.

Last summer I had this crazy dream about the guy I was crushing on -- didn't think much of it because it's not strange for me to dream about people in my life, of course. this one just stood out because it was so strange, dealing with grapefruit, broken glass, pictures, intersections, bricks -- just a bunch of randomness. I thought it was strange and decided to tell him about it. Guess that's the type of stuff he's into because he broke the dream down so easily -- saying that each item in the dream symbolized something. Once he put meaning to the objects -- the dream told a story. it was pretty creepy, lol. cool, but creepy.

The thing about it, is that I dream so frequently but it's rare that I have dreams that stick out to me. This week, every dream I've had has tied into the previous somehow and it's scary. I rather not talk about the topic of the dreams because it's pretty weird. I'm just wondering if dreams really do have meaning. I mean, I think they do...but how are you supposed to know? I'm no dream interpreter lol.

♥

:-|

Don't you hate it when people text YOU, then they have the nerve to text you things like "oh", "yeah", and "ok" -- like they expect you to keep the conversation going? you texted me!

Oohh, or how about when people CALL you and sit on the phone in silence - hemming and hahing like that don't know what to talk about? Why did you just call me if you ain't have nothing to say?


GAHH!
bye!

disappointment&trust.

One of the worst feelings to me is disappointment.

Disappointment in yourself...

Disappointment in you friends...

Disappointment in -- xy and z.

It's all the same. For me lately, it's disappointment in the people I choose to surround myself with. Seems like you never really know who people actually are -- even when you've known them for years. Or maybe deep down, you knew -- just chose to overlook it. I think I choose to overlook people faults because I mean, duh, no one is perfect and who am I to judge people because they slip up here and there? But idk. This ties back into what I was saying in previous blogs about how I'm feeling like you can't really trust much of anyone. Coming from me, thats a big deal because I have this sort of inverted trust problem, lol. A lot of people can't trust anyone, but me, I tend to trust any and everyone usually. I believe[d] that if you haven't given me a reason NOT to trust you, then Ima trust you until you do. AKA -- set up for getting hurt. It seemed like my thinking changed overnight on the issue. It's kind of sad when I think about it because I don't like to feel like that about people but I mean.....................it only makes sense.



And uh, never really thought about it but -- maybe trust is just a little bit overrated. How many times do we hear people in relationship or friendship crying and upset saying: "but I trusted him!" or "Man, I can't believe her! I trusted her!" and "I can't believe ____ would do me like that! They trusted me with everything!" or even in just regular friendships or with associates you find out the so&so did xy&z and your response is "wow, i never imagined they'd do something like that!" or "omg, she doesn't seem like she's the type to act like that!" ......do you ever really know people like you think you do?.................................so? I'm thinking trust is overrated right now...unless of course it's in a relationship or a serious friendship. But besides that --- why not "try" someone out before committing to "trusting" them. Trying a person would be like giving them a chance to prove themselves to you, a chance to sit back and watch a see if they do what they say they're gonna do. See if they are someone who deserves your trust before you get wrapped up in them , thinking you trust them -- only to get hurt once more. Whether you trust them or not, once you give them a try and see that the outcome lines up with what is coming out of their mouths --- you really don't have a choice to "trust them" when the evidence is right in front of you. If they do what they say they're gonna do then the evidence is right there staring you in the face, no need to try to "believe it" -- it's right there, proven. And on the flipside, we all want people to be able to trust us. If someone doesn't trust you like you think they should....why get all upset about it? Just let them try you, and once your outcome lines up with what came out of your mouth -- they have no choice but to see that who are who you say you are and you do what you say you're going to do. Think about it, trust is built from having your expectations met and/or exceeded.


But on a different note..... doesn't the Bible clearly tell you not to trust people?

"Do not trust in a friend; do not put your confidence in a companion;"
Micah 7:5

"It is better to trust in the Lord Than to put confidence in man....."
Psalms 118:8

"Do not put your trust in princes or in man, in whom there is no help."
Psalm 146:3

Before people get all worked up about that, I don't think God means to never ever trust anyone in life, but I think that people put all of their trust in man...which can be in the relationships, friendships, work, the government or anything. People get wrapped up relying on other people to meet their needs and wants --- but man in not reliable. Man is wishy-washy as we all know. So do not put all of your trust in man because that is simply a recipe for f a i l u r e. But instead...


"As for God, His way is perfect. The word of the Lord is proven, He is a shield to all who trust in Him" Psalm 18:30


This blog definitely was not intended to be this long! Wow. Oh well, but sorry for rambling.
bye.

desire.

This the first poem that I have written in years [thanks Brittany for the inspiration!]. It's meant to be a spoken word poem so that is why it's broken up the way it is.











Desire.


I never knew that desire,
Could -- feel so strong. That I could…
Disregard my morals,
And willingly string myself along.
So consumed with this want,
I imagine that with you’s where I belong. And…
Just one of your sweet smiles,
Simply eradicates this wrong.


See, just one of those dimpled smiles,
Turned this, undeniable wrong into an -- unmistakable right. And your…
Inspiration touches me so deep,
That it’s guiding this pen as I write. Yes…
Clinging these pillows firm to my chest, You are…
Who I’m longing to embrace at night. And your...
Intellect stimulates much more than my mind,
Now I’m wrestling with emotion that I’ve never had to fight.


See, I never ran across any guy who…
Seemingly cares about my every endeavor, Whose…
Ambitious lifestyle motivates my own, And..
…got me thinking like I’m a go-getter. Whose…
Patience with my purity,
Has me, lusting for the opposite like I don’t know better and...
Whose simple smiley-faced text,
Can make me smile as though reading a love letter.


See, I never knew they existed,
Til, fate intervened and I … stumbled ‘cross you.
And yea, such little time has passed, But it…
Only takes one lasting impression to create something new.And now my…
Thinking has changed and my soul you have moved.
And see, we both know this shit is wrong. We just…
Choose to play this game of oblivion as we look past the truth.
So, I’ve got to let it go –
These feelings and emotions that I’ve cultivated and grew. Because…
In the same way that I’ve got this desire for you,
I’m sure you keep ‘wifey’ feeling the same way too.

O M G ! yes @ 4am

Ok, sooo it's 4am and I was listening to poetry on youtube and ran across this. And YO this piece straight up, hands down confirmed that Brook Yung is my all time favorite spoken word poet EVER! He is a m a z i n g -- this is the most powerful peace I have ever heard! His poems alway move me, real talk! Dude is siccckkkk. I'm trying to refrain from becoming a groupie but it's hard! LMAO

... that last part was a joke -_-

Enjoy!

Sick.

And he only got 3rd place for that! WTH?

Goodnight.

Man it's night's like these...

why are the things that are:

- o f f ♥ l i m i t s
- u n o b t a i n a b l e
- f o r b i d d e n
- o u t - o f - s t o c k , lol
- u n a c c e p t a b l e

always the most:

- a p p e a l i n g.
- a d m i r e d.
- d e s i r e d & w a n t e d.


The fact that they seem unobtainable only seems to intensify the desire -- maybe because we want what we know we can't have. [Or what we THINK we can't have...because nothing is impossible. We psych ourselves out sometimes thinking things are out of our reach but there is a God, ya know? That's a different topic.]
It's human nature.
I don't like to look at it that way honestly. I
don't because ... I have fallen victim of it before...as I'm sure we all can attest we have at some point in our lives.
Whether it be something trivial to something life-changing.
I just know personally things don't become desired simply because they seem "unobtainable".
But then...i don't know.
I was just thinking about it.
It's past my bedtime♥

spoken word = ♥

B. Yung = a BEAST!
Love this poem!

Who cares?

Just a quick thought....

Why do people -- and I'll include myself -- get so wrapped up in the lives of other people? I think back to a lot of the conversations that take place in my everyday life and they're about other people, what they're doing, who they're with, and blah blah blah.

Or take a look at E! and TMZ -- people make a living off of worrying about what other people are doing with their lives. Who cares? What purpose does that serve at the end of the day? If we take that time we invest in caring about what other people are doing [which is completely irrelevant to OUR lives] and use that to figure out what WE need, what WE should be doing, and where WE need to be directing our lives, I think the outcome would be a lot more positive.

Wise thoughts from a wise man :). Again, I thank God for these people He has placed in my life to motivate me! Things like this seem sooo simple but have so much meaning. This summer is dedicated to ME :) Time to re-evalute! This is the fun part... :D

f e a r .

Accidents. Rejection. Swine Flu. Failure. Murder. Poverty. The future?

Sooo, it definitely can be a bit overwhelming sometimes – thinking that in a few years I’m gonna be out on my own, in the real world, and starting a family of my own. So many different possible roads and paths – what to expect, what to expect? On top of that, we turn on the news each night only to be bombarded with horrifying stories, leading to a bunch of “OMGs”and “what ifs”. Often we fear the future and what will become of us – it’s natural to wonder, but not healthy to fear. Fear only means that there is a lack of trust in God. It’s a lot easier than you think to start getting wrapped up in fear and not even realize it, though. (For example, you watch a scary movie about a psycho serial killer – then something simple like walking through the dark or sitting in the house alone leaves you feeling on edge and paranoid. Hmm. ) But think about it this way, it says in the Bible that God cares for the birds of the air, so how much more will He provide for His own children?

"So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows" Matthew 10:31

One of the most powerful scriptures that exemplifies the power of trusting in God is Psalms 56:11 which says : “In God I trust, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Regardless of what is happening around us, we need to make sure that we truly know and understand the power of God. The key to overcoming fear is having faith enough to completely trust in Him. It is turning to God even in the worse circumstances, darkest times – or whatever and trusting Him, knowing that his hand of protection is on your life regardless. Once we have learned to put our trust in God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that are to come in our future. But one thing for sure, is we have to realize that the weapons may be formed against us, but God’s Word assures us that no weapon will prosper against us. The Bible is God’s Word and God says that He is not a man that He should lie. So trust Him.

“Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

random ramblings @ this time in the morning *sigh* my body clock is so off.

Just that ONE person....

It is amazing the impact that an individual can have on your life. The influence they have, no matter how minute or how grand it may seem, inevitably leaves a mark on our lives whether we notice it or not. I thank God for the people that he has strategically placed in my life to help build me and mold me into the young woman that He wants me to be. As I always say, nothing happens without rhyme or reason -- everyone who is in my life is there for a reason and each one serves a purpose. Some may be there to give me something to strive for and look up to, while others may be there to show me a glimpse of who I do not want to be [Kanye says it best: "Everything I'm not, made me everything I am." lol], some may be there to uplift me, some individuals are there to get me off course [Just as God can place people in your life, so can Satan as he tries to detour you in life -- and trust, he tries hard.], some are there to just be good friends, good mentors, and great motivators -- and it's so easy to overlook at times. Not all situations will be positive. Life brings brings you fake friends, bad relationships and immature people you must deal with on a regular basis....but instead of looking at it as something negative, I have learned to look at situations and see what I've learned or what I can take from the situation for the future. There is always something. Life is just a big learning process for me right now. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for it because whether I realize it at the time of not, every person that I am in contact with and/or form a relationship/friendship with is helping to shape me into the person I am becoming.

Just my thoughts for the day.

On a different note, Happy Mother's Day♥

Today was my first time back @ SOFCC since December and it was so refreshing to be back at my own church with my own pastors! Ahh. Missed them! As always, we went to church this morning as a family. No sermon today, Pastor Mike just honored to mothers [first time mother's, mother with the most children present, and the oldest mother each got $1000] Nice service, they kept us laughing as usual! After, mom wanted to go to Cheesecake Factory for Mother's Day, so we went and had some great convo as a family. Just an all around beautiful day! ♥

...wtf? not another.

so at the end of the day, is it always going to be about sex? funny how the most [seemingly] genuine smile can have the most twisted intentions. funny how the ones who proclaim themselves to be gentlemen are the main one's who are NOT. funny how the ones who are screaming that they are different....at the end of the day, are identical to the guys that they are claiming that they resent. so who are you trying to convince? yourself? because you sure as hell aren't fooling me. you almost did this time, not going to lie...I was flattered. BUT, I shouldn't have been. going RIGHT back to this previous blog that i wrote. it is the most unsuspecting people. why can't you just get to know me because you enjoy me and my personality? why not invest time simply because you are interested in me? not what's under my skirt. "I want to take your virginity." Really? I'm sure your mothereffin GIRLFRIEND would love that. I refuse to be "that girl". Never. I will not become what I despise.

get your shit together guys. please.

wanting you & needing you...

common trend?

Topic: One guy, multiple females. (who are all [most of the time] oblivious to each other)



Why have a girlfriend, when you're going to have sex with everything that's willing? Get out of the relationship.Why claim you are talking "exclusively" to a female, when you're telling mary, sue and jane that you're talking "exclusively" with them too? Funny how niggas like to have that main girl that they know is down for them, want to keep her in their pocket while they wanna still play around with all these silly females on the low. Selfishness. Sad to see people that I look up to and couples that people on campus look at as "picture perfect couples" --- and the guy is sleeping with some girl and gettin head from another trick. Ugh, it's really starting to bother me. It's like this common trend. You'll be talking to a friend who tells you about how her and her boo Zack are doing so good and how he's so wonderful, then the next day you're talking to a friend from another circle of homegirls who tells you this her and Zack hooked up after Animal InstinQ. Or who hear, "oh yeah Tim and Jane have been together since last semester, how cute." Then next thing you know, Tim is asking for your number, asking you to chill, then asking to eat you out on the low...."It's all up to you". Just being real. This is getting out of hand. I know, it shouldn't be surprising to me. But...it never ceases to amaze me everytime. Me and my homegirls sat in suwannee and thought of how many situations we could think of where there was one guy, messing with multiple females: 11. That's just what we came up with, of course there's way more stuff going on that I probably dont even want to know about. How many guys with girlfriends were messing around with other girls: 3. Who the hell can you trust?

And for females, who know a guy has a girlfriend and still pursues him. Get your shit together. Because as soon as you get a man and he cheats on you, you're gonna be the main one crying and boohooing complaining that there ain't no good men out there. Me and a good friend of mine we're just talking last week about how he feels that girls cheat more than guys and that the reason guys cheat is because stupid girls make it available. I didn't agree. But after hearing what I've been hearing this week....I'm starting to see his point. I feel like both are equally responsible --- but I definitely see his point. Ugh, ugh, ugh! I'm really feeling like you can't trust nobody. And for people who know me, that is shocking to hear coming from the girl who hands everyone her trust with no hesitation. I hate feeling like that honestly -- but really, this is getting out of hand. People I would never expect.............................and that's fine. Expectations are overrated. I've learned that this year. I swear, I've learned more outside of the classroom than I have academically...man. Ahhh, the college experience! Lol. ♥

P.S. And I really hate to be stereotypical, with all honesty -- I really do. When I first got to college and everyone said "steer clear of greeks and athletes", it used to get on my nerves because I hate when people generalize people and categorize INDIVIDUALS simply by what they are affiliated with. But, out of those 11 situations we named...8 of them were greek, 1 was an athelete and two are just regular students with no particular affiliation. That's just some food for thought.



studytime!

Sooo...

Have you ever felt like you had so much on your mind at one time that you don't even know what you're thinking about? That's kind of what how I've been feeling tonight because it's been on thing thrown at me after another. Lol, see the funny thing about it is...the majority of the things on my mind aren't negative or anything but this feeling of having so much on my mind is making me feel drained. Blah :P

The run-down: Today was a pretty unproductive day on my part. I usually don't skip biology, but I really woke up....got dressed, looked in the mirror and thought..."I'm not going to class." I laid back down, set the alarm clock on my phone and had every intention to go to my social psych class at 1115....BUT, instead of snooze, I hit that DISMISS button at 1055 by accident. Oops. Woke up at 12:09. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of going to the union on Wednesdays :- but I met up with Britt and we stopped by for a minute, then left to go talk. Then went to economics, most boring class ever. Me and Ca'Shala chilled for a minute outside, before walking to Kellum to hang out with some koolkidz 8-], then we all went to BK. Burger King that is, lol. I left em tho, went to Studio Green to meet with Brittany, spent most of my time on the phone. Then we headed to my dorm to chill for a little while. That was basically my day in a nutshell.

I honestly have a lot on my mind right now, but not enough energy to write about it. Hopefully...tomorrow. Because these past two weeks have left me feeling...some kind of way about a lot of things and people in general. Real talk. I love gaining insight.....because ultimately gaining insight is gaining wisdom. Walking in wisdom is just one step in maturity.

♥


"Why do I feel so alone? Like everybody passing through the studio is in character as if he acting out a movie role?" - Drizzy Drake

I feel you Drizzy, lol. I feel you!

First Day

Hi :)
I remembered the good old days of blogging on Xanga. Thought I'd start blogging again. But for now, I'm going to take a nap. Goodday.